I had a dream a few months, maybe a year ago. I only remember a short bit of it. I was in a huge hole with my original character, Reitamokunkyonkyun Erotikuretsunarysha, and he looked amazing...absolutely bananas stunning, super attractive and perfect... And above us was my other character, Eyvindr Igull Jokull Luukas Refurkinn, who looked equally as stunning and amazing, absolutely good looking and hot. Me and Reitamokunkyonkyun looked up at Eyvindr, who appeared angry, and Eyvindr said something and tried to pee on me and Reitamokunkyonkyun from above, and Reitamokunkyonkyun was like, "Come on, Eyvindr, don't be that way!" And yelled at him, and both Eyvindr's and Reitamokunkyonkyun's voices were beautiful and amazing. Anyway, I saw in the dream a glimpse of Eyvindr's penis as he was pocketing it back into his pants, and it was huge and very...stunning...handosme. I was so happy when I woke up, about those two. However, in the dream, I saw my other original character, Jian-min, who is a trap/femboy... He...looked so horrible. He was dressed as a policeman and was, really, really ugly... He tried to talk but he had the wrong voice it was the voice of a woman, and I wasn't sure if he was a boy or a girl, because he's a trap, but I ran from him and hated him. He became tiny, and I got to my parents' bathroom, from my old house, and tried to close the door. I didn't care if I killed him because he was ugly and I'm not attracted to females and, even though I love him in my real life, if he were a female, I wouldn't want to be with him. In reality, Jian-min has a very nice boy voice. To be honest, if he would have just had a male voice, I maybe would have accepted him, even if he were ugly. Since then, he appears in my dreams looking more like he's supposed to, not ugly, and with a male voice, thankfully.
Dreams can often provide a window into our subconscious and reflect our emotions, desires, and inner conflicts. In your dream, there are several layers of symbolism and themes that deserve further exploration.
Reitamokunkyonkyun Erotikuretsunarysha: This character represents an idealized or aspirational version of yourself. The fact that he is described as "absolutely bananas stunning" indicates that you may have a strong desire for beauty, admiration, and perhaps a longing to express a part of yourself that you perceive as attractive or desirable. His voice being beautiful may signify a yearning for self-expression and acceptance.
Eyvindr Igull Jokull Luukas Refurkinn: Eyvindr’s anger may symbolize unresolved conflicts or feelings of rejection or judgment. Seeing him as stunning and good-looking juxtaposed with his anger could indicate that you feel torn between external perceptions of beauty and internal emotions. His actions (attempting to "pee" on you and Reitamokunkyonkyun) are juvenile and may suggest feelings of powerlessness or humiliation that you could be experiencing in waking life, perhaps from pressures or criticisms you feel from peers or society.
Jian-min: Your feelings toward Jian-min are complex. The dream portrays him in a distorted and unappealing manner, which may represent your fears or insecurities regarding acceptance and attraction—particularly in relation to gender identity and attraction. His "ugliness" and wrong voice suggest a struggle with authenticity. The shift from a beautiful representation of your other characters to a negative portrayal of Jian-min might illustrate feelings of dissonance between how you perceive your own identity and how others perceive the characters surrounding you.
The running away from Jian-min and your desire to close the door signifies a desire to reject aspects of yourself or others that you find unappealing or confusing. It reflects an internal conflict about love and acceptance—where you find beauty and attraction only in specific representations of gender and character. Your feeling of repulsion toward Jian-min when he appears in a manner that doesn’t resonate with your understanding of him indicates an ongoing negotiation with your emotions and potentially your own identity, especially as it relates to gender expression.
The fact that Jian-min has since appeared looking more aligned with your perception of him denotes personal growth and perhaps acceptance. You might be reconciling parts of yourself that felt unworthy or unattractive, and now you are working towards an integrated self-image. It highlights a journey toward acceptance—both of others and your complex feelings about them.
This dream illustrates your navigation through deep-seated feelings about identity, attraction, and acceptance. It emphasizes the importance of embracing all aspects of our personalities and the characters we create—allowing for beauty to coexist with ugliness in various forms. Continue reflecting on these themes, and consider how they might influence your waking life and relationships with yourself and others. The transformation of Jian-min in your subsequent dreams is a positive sign of progress in self-acceptance, suggesting that you are moving toward a more holistic view of yourself and those you care about.